Ahhh, the Monday after Halloween. Every college administrator’s favorite day. Here I sit going through all the logs and reports when low a behold a lovely video file crosses my email.

Click here to view the embedded video.

I can’t tell you how appropriate this is given the logs I have. I’m not going to pretend that I haven’t had more than my fair share of drunken nights (thankfully none that ended like that). Heck, I’m from Kentucky the place where

By law, anyone who has been drinking is “sober” until he or she “cannot hold onto the ground.”

–Lexington

At least I can be thankful for small miracles, so far it doesn’t appear anyone ended up in jail.

From the same people that had to make it “illegal to fish with a bow and arrow”, and make it “illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket” comes the casino terminator 2000. That’s right – you have a riverboat casino that is mudding your view of the dirty Ohio river – well no longer Kentucky’s own Casino terminator will come to your rescue. The casino terminator 2000 is 688VLS class submarine capable of blowing any evil casino boat straight back to hell.

This has to be a joke right? Well that is what I originally thought when I read Kentucky’s House Resolution 256. The purpose to “encourage the purchase of a submarine to patrol the waters of the Commonwealth and search and destroy all casino riverboats”.
It is moments like these that I miss my dear ol’ home state. They’re all nuttier than a bunch of fruitcakes.
It isn’t enough to simply have police remove them from state waters – NO… that doesn’t send the right message – and of course the right message to send is to blow the F-ing thing to bits. Just remember rednecks and their guns.

BTW… For the full text and the guy responsible see more below.

The Man Behind the Resolution
Representative Thomas Burch of Louisville

The resolutions HR256

A RESOLUTION encouraging the purchase and vigorous use of the USS Louisville 688 VLS Class submarine.
WHEREAS, in the past few years the scourge of the casino riverboat has been an increasingly significant presence on the Ohio River; and
WHEREAS, the Ohio River borders the Commonwealth of Kentucky; and
WHEREAS, the siren song of payola issuing from the discordant calliopes of these gambling vessels has led thousands of Kentucky citizens to vast disappointment and woe; and
WHEREAS, no good can come to the citizens of Kentucky hypnotized from the siren song issuing from these casino riverboats, the engines of which are fired by the hard-earned dollars lost from Kentucky citizens;
NOW, THEREFORE,
Be it resolved by the House of Representatives of the General Assembly of the Commonwealth of Kentucky:

Section 1. The House of Representatives does hereby encourage the formation of the Kentucky Navy and subsequently immediately encourages the purchase and armament of one particularly effective submarine, namely, the USS Louisville 688 VLS Class Submarine, to patrol the portion of the Ohio River under the jurisdiction of the Commonwealth to engage and destroy any casino riverboats that the submarine may encounter.
Section 2. The House of Representatives does hereby authorize the notification of the casino riverboat consulate of this Resolution and impending whoopin’ so that they may remove their casino vessels to friendlier waters.