Our Thanksgiving history is the stuff of legends. Things like my brother dropping out of his Ph.D program to become a vacumn cleaner salesman (first of two), my brother announcing he had dropped out of a second Ph.D program to breed rats in a lab, mom and dad announcing their intent to build a new house so mom could live with her girlfriend, grandma going for a naked stroll through the hospital, friend Becky asking to pass the gravy and for a side of sperm (her and her girlfriend wanted to have a baby), dad shooting a hole through the side of the house thinking I was a burglar, my brother announcing he was getting married to a woman from the Philippines he had met at a conference years before (not only had the family not met her, but she was a catholic – it nearly killed my grandmother), cousin Terry (fundamentalist side of the family) walking in on me making out with my boyfriend, and my parents walking in on me groping a male nurse at the hospital.

These are the Hallmark moments that mark our family holidays. It is no wonder we all hate this f**king holiday. Typically we just have the meal catered and try to get it over with as quick as possible. But something convinced my mother that we need to prepare the meal this year – or as will happen that I need to prepare the meal. You see, my mom can’t even heat a can of soup without burning it (Martha Stewart she isn’t). I am the only one that actually cooks (I learned out of necessity when I was a child), so I will drag myself in Wednesday evening and start slaving over the kitchen to prep the meal for Thursday – weeee, what fun.

I already know that my mom’s girlfriend is bringing her son (he just got out of prison AGAIN) and the local family gossip is that my father has a new girlfriend that he is planning on introducing. Hopefully this won’t be another for the record books, but it is already shaping up to be. I wonder if I can come up with an excuse not to go between now and tomorrow morning.

Pole Dancing as an Olympic sport – another great idea brought to you by Mormons.

Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg – an interesting couple – they hizzle the sizzle with the Mashed Potatoes

Cooking Mama the PETA edition

Prince William and his royal scepter

Project Runway Delayed

ispeech read for your ears.

Hugh Jackman: Sexiest Man Alive – ummmm, I don’t think so. Definite hottie, but not the end all be all of hotness 

Semen Cookbook – Ok, now I have heard everything – I blame the Food Network

A Heart Attack waiting to happen – Turbaconducken (I like all of those things – just NOT TOGETHER)

Blowjobs as performance art – who knew that is all it took to be an artist – heck I should have my own exhibit in the Louvre.

“If homosexuality is a disease, let’s all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can’t work today, still queer";”

Though it doesn’t look like that was the inspiration. In general, it is somewhat a good idea, but will I ‘call in gay’, will any of my colleagues – one might but he wouldn’t be volunteering he would be looking for a lil’ twink to hook up with. Good luck to them in getting volunteers to ‘call in gay’. I just don’t get that galvanized by the whole prop 8 issue, though I seem to be in the minority. In my case, I am just a jaded ol’ queen that thinks relationships suck because men are jerks.

I am lucky in many ways, I work for an employer where I can be openly gay (heck it feels like we outnumber the str8’s many days) and in a profession where many often assume you are gay by default. I’m spoiled and lucky (I once worked at a homophobic college and it was one of the most depressing experiences of my life – I was so miserable that many days all I did was cry.)

Also, read their FAQ, my favorite

Will this get me on Oprah?
If it will get you to help out, then…yes…you’ll be on Oprah, Honey.

*Side note… Not my usual self right now. For the last week I have been working 16to18 hours a day and am just exhausted.

via !! omg blog !!

Honestly, it is more entertainment than it is actual value. It doesn’t really tell you anything that you couldn’t already figure out – it is just cool that a computer is telling you. What geek doesn’t love that, me included.

When I checked, I was 83% man – damn I was hoping for much lower.

If you follow the link on the analyzer to uclassify, you will find a link to another cool project the typealyzer (get the personality type for your blog – I’m an ISFP. Slightly different than my normal result, but still close.

via The Sword – Magical Gender Analyzer Quantifies Drag Queen Realness 
Oh and definitely check out the picture – I so want one of those – a My Little Pony case mod – it is so cute and probably the only thing that could make me more gay than I already am.