Sex and Terrorism

*Another entry from the digital closet – this one from September 27, 2001.

The key to fighting terrorism – hoes all around. (I got this idea while playing Pimp Wars). Yes you heard me right. I will beat myself over the head for saying it later. But, the idea makes a great deal of sense when you take into consideration an article that appeared in the Times of India (link no longer active). Apparently, analysis of Bin Laden’s handwriting shows that he is “beset by a strong libido, which was driving his actions”. Now, I have been horny, but I have NEVER been so horny that I wanted to blow-up a building, nor do I think that is the logical outlet for horniness. I mean, when I am horny the only things I can think about are blowing a load, blowing a guy’s dick, or being ramrodded by a big ol’ piece of meat – the thought of blowing up a building would never cross my mind. But let’s assume for a moment that the article is correct and that this is the act of a sexually repressed man.

Well, let’s look at the towers. One can see how they could be taken as a phallic symbol. Tall (long), erect, and hard – further, Bin Laden’s need to destroy these huge phallic symbols (in other words these big steel dicks) is a sign that he himself feels a need to destroy phalluses that are larger then his own. In other words he is trying to overcompensate for a small penis.

Additionally, in the attack on the Pentagon the plane hit the outside and missed going for the center. Now we can look at this attack in terms of a metaphor for Bin Laden’s own sexual frustrations. The plane exploding on the outer edges can mean one of many things. The first thing that such an attack could symbolize is that Bin Laden has an issue with premature ejaculation – he cums before he can even get it into the target. The other thing that this could represent is that Bin Laden is saying that in fact he does not find the sexual role that has been proscribed to him to be satisfying – as he never actually got into where he was supposed to and found satisfaction and release without ever achieving that role. In other words this could mean that Bin Laden is in fact a big ol’ bottom in need of a big ol’ dick rammed up his rump. The easiest way to test this theory would be for a tank to simply impale him up the a*s with its turret (soldiers keep this in mind when you get him) and if by chance I am wrong it will sure as hell be one big pain in the a*s for him.

Now as we can see we need to spread the wealth of hoes throughout the world and liberate the women in Afghan society; as well as get rid of that public stoning for homosexuals thing. If we did this it would at the very least curb terrorism. I mean think about it, if given the choice between killing yourself and getting laid, which would you choose. I can honestly say that I can not think of anyone that would not choose getting laid. Thus if we liberated the society sexually we would most certainly curb terrorism as most people are not going to be destroying things if in fact they are enjoying a nice after-glow.

So SEX is the solution to terrorism.

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Thursday, September 27th, 2001 Classic Fairy, Rant

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