Couch Potato Law
Originally from September 23, 2001
I have developed a new theory that I think will revolutionize the way that we look at the world. I call this amazing theory the Couch Potato Law. You see the Couch Potato Law states that the number of channels you have is inversely proportional to the number of television shows that you actually want to watch.
The means of testing the theory is as follows
1. Turn on your television
2. Go to your program guide and scan what is on.
3. Count how many shows or channels you would actual like to watch
4. Count the number of actual channels you have
5. Do the math
My results. Number of channels 180+ and the number of shows that I wanted to watch – zero. I did manage to find something sort of The Vicar of Dibley.
I know a stupid theory, but why do we have so many channels if we are not going to watch them? I mean who actually needs 10 shopping channels. I am a self admitted shop-a-holic, but I have never watched them nor do I have any desire to. Next, 8 channels dedicated to Christianity – WHY? First how many people come home after a long day at work and want to watch someone tell you that you are a sinner and the only way to go to heaven is to call and give them your money. What is up with that, beyond that isn’t the market for the channels basically the same people and as you can typically only watch one thing at a time – why 8 of the things? But let’s not forget the number of channels that show infomercials at night – at 5AM I counted 52 channels that had infomercials on them – why?
I thought the purpose of having so many channels to choose from was that one could find something they were interested in at any time of the day – that is obviously not the case. Plus, we see the media characterize us as a society of couch potatoes, HOW? I am not content to sit on the couch and watch television – especially when I can’t find anything to watch no matter what time of day or night that it is.
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