Thanksgiving – Thank God it is only once a year
I love my family – screwed up as they are. I just thank my lucky stars I only have to do this once a year. I come from an old southern family – the type of family that is the thing of stereotypes. If there is something that isn’t popular, that we don’t like, we just pretend it doesn’t exist. Denial in my family is a way of life.
Our Thanksgiving history is the stuff of legends. Things like my brother dropping out of his Ph.D program to become a vacumn cleaner salesman (first of two), my brother announcing he had dropped out of a second Ph.D program to breed rats in a lab, mom and dad announcing their intent to build a new house so mom could live with her girlfriend, grandma going for a naked stroll through the hospital, friend Becky asking to pass the gravy and for a side of sperm (her and her girlfriend wanted to have a baby), dad shooting a hole through the side of the house thinking I was a burglar, my brother announcing he was getting married to a woman from the Philippines he had met at a conference years before (not only had the family not met her, but she was a catholic – it nearly killed my grandmother), cousin Terry (fundamentalist side of the family) walking in on me making out with my boyfriend, and my parents walking in on me groping a male nurse at the hospital.
These are the Hallmark moments that mark our family holidays. It is no wonder we all hate this f**king holiday. Typically we just have the meal catered and try to get it over with as quick as possible. But something convinced my mother that we need to prepare the meal this year – or as will happen that I need to prepare the meal. You see, my mom can’t even heat a can of soup without burning it (Martha Stewart she isn’t). I am the only one that actually cooks (I learned out of necessity when I was a child), so I will drag myself in Wednesday evening and start slaving over the kitchen to prep the meal for Thursday – weeee, what fun.
I already know that my mom’s girlfriend is bringing her son (he just got out of prison AGAIN) and the local family gossip is that my father has a new girlfriend that he is planning on introducing. Hopefully this won’t be another for the record books, but it is already shaping up to be. I wonder if I can come up with an excuse not to go between now and tomorrow morning.
Linky Linky
A few of the links folks sent me to avoid total work overload insanity the last several days.
Pole Dancing as an Olympic sport – another great idea brought to you by Mormons.
Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg – an interesting couple – they hizzle the sizzle with the Mashed Potatoes
Prince William and his royal scepter
Hugh Jackman: Sexiest Man Alive – ummmm, I don’t think so. Definite hottie, but not the end all be all of hotness
Semen Cookbook – Ok, now I have heard everything – I blame the Food Network
A Heart Attack waiting to happen – Turbaconducken (I like all of those things – just NOT TOGETHER)
Blowjobs as performance art – who knew that is all it took to be an artist – heck I should have my own exhibit in the Louvre.
Why Palin with never be Vice-President or worse yet President
I saw this video and didn’t pay much attention – at least not until someone else pointed out the real fascinating part. Block Palin out, ignore her – it should be easy. Instead focus on the guy in the background as he slaughters turkeys. Yes, talk about a poorly planned photo op – you go to pardon a turkey and end up all over the world on camera with turkey killers (and one turkey that just doesn’t seem to want to die). This sort of incompetence is why no one takes her seriously.
Call in Gay?
I couldn’t help by laugh when I say this the other day "Day Without a Gay: Call In Gay". It made me think of the Robin Tyler quote:
“If homosexuality is a disease, let’s all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can’t work today, still queer";”
Though it doesn’t look like that was the inspiration. In general, it is somewhat a good idea, but will I ‘call in gay’, will any of my colleagues – one might but he wouldn’t be volunteering he would be looking for a lil’ twink to hook up with. Good luck to them in getting volunteers to ‘call in gay’. I just don’t get that galvanized by the whole prop 8 issue, though I seem to be in the minority. In my case, I am just a jaded ol’ queen that thinks relationships suck because men are jerks.
I am lucky in many ways, I work for an employer where I can be openly gay (heck it feels like we outnumber the str8’s many days) and in a profession where many often assume you are gay by default. I’m spoiled and lucky (I once worked at a homophobic college and it was one of the most depressing experiences of my life – I was so miserable that many days all I did was cry.)
Also, read their FAQ, my favorite
Will this get me on Oprah?
If it will get you to help out, then…yes…you’ll be on Oprah, Honey.
*Side note… Not my usual self right now. For the last week I have been working 16to18 hours a day and am just exhausted.
F*ck Bank, A bank for the new economy
Finally a bank for the new economy – F@*K Bank. And to think, I’ve been giving it away all these years – boy was I stupid.
via !! omg blog !!
Keith Olbermann on Prop 8
I admit, I didn’t pay much attention to the issue of Prop 8 in California. I never seriously thought it would pass. I can’t remember a single time in history that a constitutional amendment was passed to take away rights that had already been granted. The very idea leaves a sour taste. It is hurtful and disgusting. I still find it doubtful that it will live long – court battles and ultimately future elections will likely rid California of this dark shadow. But that is beside the point, I was watching Countdown last night. Keith can tend to be a little overly dramatic (more of a drama queen than most guys I know), but last night’s special comment was poignant and moving. He talked about Prop 8 and it will definitely go down as one of his most memorable comments both for its sincerity and the power with which it was conveyed.
What gender is your blog?
Have you ever been in chat and wondered, is that guy really a guy or that girl really a girl? No, yeah me neither – but I hear it is a real problem for straight men and their egos. Hope may be in sight for those men debilitated by fear of sexting another guy. A new project called the GenderAnalyzer has been developed to identify the sex of blog writers (and if they can do that probably not much longer till a chat version comes along).
Honestly, it is more entertainment than it is actual value. It doesn’t really tell you anything that you couldn’t already figure out – it is just cool that a computer is telling you. What geek doesn’t love that, me included.
When I checked, I was 83% man – damn I was hoping for much lower. 
If you follow the link on the analyzer to uclassify, you will find a link to another cool project the typealyzer (get the personality type for your blog – I’m an ISFP. Slightly different than my normal result, but still close.
via The Sword – Magical Gender Analyzer Quantifies Drag Queen Realness
Oh and definitely check out the picture – I so want one of those – a My Little Pony case mod – it is so cute and probably the only thing that could make me more gay than I already am.
MSNBC’s F-Bomb
Yesterday on ‘Morning Joe’, host Joe Scarborough accidentally dropped the F-bomb (AKA F*ck) during a live telecast. Clearly Joe missed the news that the Supreme Court is currently considering that very issue. Oh, poor Joe – it looks like the FCC may be the Grinch that stole Christmas for you (or at least your Christmas bonus).
This could be my parents
I ran across this video while browsing. My lord, this could be my parents. The whole DTV switch over is going to be a major confusion for those that aren’t tech-literate. I know my parents do not have a clue what the difference between SD and HD is. The only good part is that they have dish and won’t have to worry much. Though, I already know the phone is going to ring with them wondering why the news suddenly ‘has these black lines at the top and bottom and the man is so small’ (translation letterbox).
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